Tuesday, July 19, 2011

let him breathe!

sup folks? im gon get into a touchy topic right now... space and privacy in relationships. i cant speak from a woman's perspective, but i can let u know how the fellas feel (at least the ones im colose to). we as men have a weakness as every being does, but our weakness is women. ladies, you know this. and youve known it forever but for some reson yall still aint learn how to use this powerful weapon u have. i do understand that when u find the man you want and ur diggin him and hes diggn you and its all fun and u feel like that u guys will be in each others lives for some time that it can be difficult to see urself without this man. you wanna do everything together. u wanna go shopping, and to eat, and do laundry, and go for drinks, and go for drives and whatever the hell else ppl do when theyre in relationships. all that is cool, but dont go overboard. dont neglect ur friends and family and ur hobbies and interest because youve found someone that u care deeply for to occupy ur time. some ppl seem to not understand, because ur in a relationship it doesnt mean that everything else in ur life needs to disappear. doesnt mean u cut ur friends off (unless u realize they are bad for u), it doesnt mean u put u individual interests and hobbies aside. it doesnt mean that everything u do you hafta do it together. it just means that a significant other has been added to the mix and now that part of ur life which was lacking is not being fulfilled. enjoy each other, enjoy each other as often as possible. but u gotta keep in mind, too much ANYTHING is not good for u. so with all the time u like to spend with ur 'boo' please allow enuff time for u and ur 'boo' to be apart. dont be overwhelming. its not sexy.  and even if u live together, everyone is still entitled to their space and privacy. baby, because we live in the same house it doesnt mean that we always have to be in the same room. show some initiative. if u know the fellas are coming over to watch the playoffs and its not exactly ur cup of tea or there arent any other women present, give him that time with his boys. trust me, we need it. as well as u need to spend some time with the girls. we all need the space. i wanna go away for my bday this yr but im hard pressed finding a friend that i actually like spending time with that aint broke or got baby momma issues to go with me. and the ones that are capable of paying their way gotta lie about where we are going. its not fair. its not fair because if she wanted to go away with the girls for a weekend, us men wont have a problem with it. lighten up ladies, dont give us a reason and we wont misbehave. i admit, some dudes are just idiots and dont appreciate a good thing and eff shit up, but all of us aint like that. dont watch me like a hawk because ur last boyfriend was an asshole. dont make me feel guilty or bad because im attractive to some and am outgoing and ur just a little insecure about that. its not a sexy trait. work on u first, believe in u, display some confidence and trust him until u have a reason not to. all that going thru the phone, in dressers drawers, all that is out. u aint like it when ur momma did it to u when u were at home and u didnt even pay bills then. dont do it now. i aint go nuttin to hide but that doesnt mean i want u all in my closet or in my phone for nuttin. if im gonna be somewhere, dont just pop up there. not sexy. we need to breathe too. so what i may talk slick and flirt a little bit if im out, but thats where it stays, OUT. if im happy u aint gotta worry bout somebody taking ur spot. do wut u gotta do and we'll do wut we gotta do. everybody deserves/requires their space, its not healthy for us to be all on top of each other all the time. and u better invite urself or pop up somewhere without being invited. especially when its just the fellas hanging out. its awkward for u and its def awkward for us because now the boys dont know if theyre gonna extend the invitation to me next time since my chick has got the tendency to pop up where im at. not cool ladies. dont give me a reason. trust me until i  do something to make u not, please dont invade my privacy and jeopardize my other relations. it makes everyone uncomfortable... get a life outside of ur mate, its allowed.  this is a thought of mine that i figured i would into blog form. this is not directed to anybody or group in particular. just my thoughts....

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